Nerves..

Welp..Another rough day..you know what that means, another rant..
So I've not told anybody the extent of my nerve damage, not even my doctors know how extreme it gets..
Today, I feel like talking about it, because I feel like that's the only way I'm getting through it without breaking down.

So for background info, I have permanent nerve damage in my abdomen. They only know of one nerve that's damaged, but the rest of the nerves in my body try to compensate for this nerve, leaving me in much more pain on some days. I'm still coming down from the smoke incident the other day, my chest is killing me, and now my nerves are in on torturing me. Before my nap, my chest was the only thing that was hurting me, but now, it's my body.

What happens with a flare up..man..let's try to describe this in the most realistic way possible, though I'm not sure I can do the pain any justice..you know that feeling you get when a body part is a sleep? Normally a foot or your hand.. and that feeling when a bug is on you, or you feel like a bug is on you? Combine those feelings. Now multiple these feelings, and add needles into the mix. I'm currently feeling this throughout my chest, parts of my back, legs, in my hips, and down my arms. Withstanding this pain is ridiculous, it hurts to even wear clothes (due to my skin being so sensitive) and I'm simply just shaking from the amount of pain that I'm in.

These flare ups can occur anywhere from hours, to days, to weeks. Mentally, it's hard for me to keep pushing through the pain, because I simply want to sleep through the days until it no longer exists, but I can't possibly do that with the coursework I have at school and with work. This is the time in my life when I'm most depressed, most needy, most moody.

S-