Rest in Peace, Papa

When you have someone assist in raising you who isn't your parent, that's really one of the greatest things ever. Those are the people who let you get away with murder, let you stay home when you're only feeling a little sick, give you too many sweets, what have you. My great grandpa helped raise me for most of my childhood, until he got too old to really be able to do it.

Papa was one of those guys that I had always wanted my boyfriends to be like, and now I look back and laugh, because those guys don't really exist anymore. He was the reason why I took up Spanish, so that I could sit and have conversations while I was home sick from school. At that point, he didn't have to watch me, so it was really me keeping him company.   As I got into high school, my sports med internship started taking up more and more of my time, but that didn't stop me from seeing me. At least twice a week, I'd go to his house to visit him, or he'd come to mine. At that point, our conversations would start repeating themselves, but he was still my Papa and I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

One day, I was out with my ex when I got a call from my mom, telling me to come home now. We rushed to my house, and she told me she was taking him into the hospital because, as he put it, he was "seeing angels." After they did some tests, they found out that he had cancer, but due to his age and the fact that he had never been under anesthetic, they didn't want to do a biopsy, so they never did. They also found that he had broken vertebrae, growths on his liver, and more. I can't begin to imagine the pain he was in.

In the hospital, they suggested we do hospice care, that of which we did. They expected a few months out of him, but after a few days, his brain function decreased, so we decided to increase his pain medicine and pull the plug. I said my goodbyes before, because I could't be around when I lost one of the most important people in my life..

March 10th, my great grandpa, Walter Quinn passed away..this was two months before my graduation, one of the things I begged for him to stick around for. I don't believe in afterlife, nor not normally ghosts nor spirits, but three people told me the night of my graduation that nobody was able to sit between where my nana and my mom sat, due to something being there..

I love you Papa. Rest in Peace. I hope you aren't in pain anymore, and I'm sorry for being selfish and still wanting you here..