And this is why our political situation scares me...

Both candidates were extremely iffy to me, and I have yet to really voice my opinion on any of the candidates so here we go.

As a woman, I did not vote for Hillary Clinton.

But it is because of this that I did not vote for Donald Trump.

As a woman, I'm terrified of Donald Trump.

There are so many perspectives on this election, and here are some of the ones I think cause the most impact, or at least impact me the most.
Marriage is a beautiful beautiful thing, and it should not have restrictions unless due to age and age of consent. Yep, marriage-not straight marriage, or gay marriage. Marriage is the legal bond between people that is a complete social construct- but hey, let's discuss that a little later.
Guns don't shoot people, like knives don't stab people. I do not believe that our rights to bear arms should be taken away. I do think, though, that intensive background checks are necessary in order to ensure security amongst us. Although I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, there are kids, elderly, disabled that cannot protect themselves, and that is the reason these measures must be put in place.
EDUCATION EDUCATION EDUCATION. Gosh so much needs done here.I absolutely 10000% agree that Common Core has got to be abolished. It is the most inefficient method of teaching and learning that we can just skip over. We need to do something about the cost of college, the difficulty in getting loans, and repayment of loans.
Healthcare is a big deal as well. I personally Obamacare should either be altered or destroyed. I like the opportunity it gave to people who couldn't ever really get health insurance before, but I guess I really don't understand the efficiency of the fees for not having Obamacare, besides the fact that it funds the program itself. I don't agree with the borders on healthcare (in-state/out-of-state costs) and this is definitely something to look into. Personally, I've experienced that this adds up financially, because I still fall on my parent's insurance and they live in a different state. Premiums rise, and it's just a nasty situation. I do believe that there should be nationwide programs available or statewide, but also the option to choose what fits your situation.
Abortion- if this is a touchy subject, you might want to stop now. I am pro-choice for abortion and the reason being is that I don't agree with bringing a child into this world that's not wanted, and the sad part is that there's only so many people willing to adopt to make these extra kids feel wanted. I disagree with the fact that couples will not be safe and abort because they just don't want a child, but I also agree with a couple not being safe, and aborting because they are drug users and don't want to pass that onto a kid. Of course, I think the option should be available for rape victims and mothers that will not survive if they carry the baby to term. What is uncomfortable to me is funding for late abortions. In most situations, a woman should be aware she is pregnant fairly early, and late abortions shouldn't be needed, but I've not been in the situation to prove otherwise. Regardless, I think this has to be situational.
I am not for or against war. On one hand, I disagree with war and putting people's lives at risk for a disagreement, however big. But on the other hand, I think that it would be ridiculous to not stand up for ourselves, so sometimes war is needed. I don't want to encourage this at all, and I definitely don't encourage bringing back a draft either.
I DON'T BELIEVE IN A WALL BETWEEN MEXICO AND THE UNITED STATES, but I do think that we need to tighten down on immigration. I think I consider everything as situational. I am not personally against a certain type of people, and for this I don't understand the fear that people have for one type of person-race, social standing, or even gender and sexuality. Maybe something I'll never understand.
This whole marijuana topic. Let's be real. It's a complete joke. If it has the capability to cure cancer, lessen the symptoms, even help other diseases, ailments, pains, whatever, then why the hell is it illegal? Ah, a plant is way cheaper than the amount of money put into the healthcare system. I am not against modern medicine whatsoever, but I think our outlook on marijuana use is bizarre.

So here it is.

As a woman, I fear Donald Trump.

I think that our biggest downfall in humanity is the ability to hate and the ability to love. These are the most impacting feelings a person can feel and that feeling alone is enough to change anybody. I classify Trump's demeaning, vulgar language, misuse and discrediting the success of women as hatred for this reason alone. In order to compare two of the same objects and be able to see one as better, the lesser one has to have some trait that makes it worse, therefore causing this unintentional hate for it. From the public eye, it appears as if women and men are placed on this comparison spectrum, causing men to overpower women, in his eyes at least. As a human, I do understand what it is like to love and to hate. The thing is, hatred brings out some extreme actions in people, and to have a leader that voices this so proudly is absolutely terrifying. Here's why.
Subliminal messages are something we've been taught about in school. Subliminal messages are messages that slip your conscious mind and slip into the unconscious, yet still have an affect on the way you live based on being recepted by the brain regardless. Although Trump's comments degrading women have been vocally heard, they have been pushed to the side as if they don't have much meaning. Personally, since this campaign started, I've heard 5 or 6 different comments said by Trump. Now fast forward 4 years. We're still hearing those same comments, even at the same frequency, but they've slipped under the radar and even slipped in the ears of our now 16 year old son. Now this 16 year old boy thinks it's okay to degrade women. And then what about the defense mechanism women now have in order to stand up for themselves? It's a revolving circle of aggression that our country does not need. The aggression won't stop here, and that's where the problem is.

Donald Trump is open with his hatred of women.
I fear Donald Trump because I am a woman.

Confessions From A Sick Girl

Being sick comes with a lot of baggage, and when I say a lot, oh boy. Because all I've ever known is being sick, I understand when my significant other want to go do their own thing, hang out with their friends, whatever it is, because I understand that going through what I'm going through is hell, and I don't expect anyone there 100%. But there are a few things that would help get us through it.

Patience. It takes a lot out of  someone 's sick to function like a normal person sometimes. Have patience, daily functions might be too difficult and because it is something your significant other feels they SHOULD be able to do yet are struggling with, it might be getting to them mentally. Remember, you aren't the only person let down.

Adaptability. Again, it's hard to function normally sometimes. Your significant other might make plans they absolutely cannot follow through with when the time comes, and there needs to be a level of respect there. Although this is a big let down, you aren't the only one going through this. Be willing to reschedule, cancel completely, make a different plan for the night, whatever. Trust me, if your significant other is willing to cancel on plans that have been made for a while, they are probably near their breaking point. Don't guilt trip them to that point.

Love. This should be a little self explanatory, but hey. Being sick gets to you mentally, and I can almost guarantee anybody with a chronic illness does not share the love they should for themselves. What I suggest is filling in that gap when they are not able to. The struggle we face being sick is that we let down those around us on bad days, and that's what gets to us. BE THERE, Adapting and having patience will definitely help, but don't be afraid to have a quiet night in where we're both reading separately, or be there as your significant other goes to sleep early. Just be there.

Let us be normal. Although we want you to ask if we're okay, don't assume we can't do the little things like cooking dinner, vacuuming, whatever. We try so hard to be normal that it's really just in your best interest to act as if we are, unless we bring something up ourselves.

-S

You're My Favorite Color

You're my favorite color at 3 am.
The whites of your eyes and nails glow radiantly, like I know your entire soul does- goodness aches from your bones. Keep that glow baby, keep glowing.
Then there's the hint of red blushing on your cheeks at the slight occurrence of an embarrassment, or a fiery topic. Burn like that fire baby, but don't let that fire burn you.
How about the yellow pigmentation off your skin as if the sun is giving you some of its light- shine bright baby, everybody needs your light.
Then there's these blues radiating off your irises like a calm river, but instantly turning into a grey storm, ready to rumble with some heat. Patience baby, a rumbling storm is rarely a good one.
And then I see the black of your shadow and that reminds me of the depth of the world-the hurt and pain. You're not alone, baby, you're never alone.
You're my favorite color at 3 am- pieced together of colors your body absorbs, surrounding me with the complexity of this beautiful world in just a glance.

Opiates May Make Pain Last Longer

So I read an article that brought tons of interest on my part. Opiates have been a well involved part of my life due to my poor health. Fortunately for me, I have found a way to rid the opiates from my life.
Being on opiates is having control in an uncontrollable situation, or so you think at the time. Opiates become a part of control to your life, rather than helping you get a grip on things. It's needing just one more prescription until you can mentally fight the pain, one more pill. So easily obtainable, yet no real results come out of it. I can honestly say that it just masked my pain for years, and it wasn't until I learned how to accept the pain I was in, that I was able to fight the pain without the pills.
This article is definitely a good read, though precise, and mentions that "opiate-based drugs can cause a heightened sensitivity to pain" in some people. I've said this many times before, when I was consumed in the medicine I felt my inability to handle small amounts of pain was remarkable- anything from hitting my arm on the wall or stubbing my toe. "Opioid Induced Hyperalgesia" is the name of this condition- the increased pain sensitivity after chronic opioid use. Not much research has been produced to completely prove that OIH is prevalent and consistently prevalent enough to begin a route of prevention, but I definitely think this should be continued to be researched! In time, I feel as if the hype of pain killers has decreased due to the effects of the medicine, and being a person that has been stuck in the opioid cycle, I definitely think there are other means to handle pain!
Stop the opioid abuse.

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/morphine-may-make-pain-last-longer

-S

Spotify

Spotify gives me the feels EVERY time. I find such good music on there nearly everyday.
Acoustic Covers, and Your Favorite Coffeehouse.
Top stations currently.

Hit me up with your music suggestions!

xoxo
S.

Goals

So I've set up a few goals for myself.

Travel. Travel more. Travel different.
Try new things. Food. Music. Culture.
Accept being alone. Do things alone. Eat at restaurants alone. Travel alone.
Read more. Books, Poetry. News.
Gym it up. Consistency is key, Stay consistent with working out.
Stay connected to family. Family is all we really have through everything.
Stop overworking myself. Enjoy days off- gosh this is so so hard for me.
Write consistently. Write. Edit. Vent. Journal. Whatever the case may be.

xoxo,
S

I'm back..:)

This has been a crazy few months. But here I am, I'm back!
A little recap. I moved to New Mexico in June 2015, and just found out that it'll be a year in just a few weeks, crazy!! So a year of being out of a really bad relationship.
In the past year, I've gained some amazing relationships, and lost some. I lost a very important person to me, my grandma, and that's been extremely hard to cope with.
I've gotten an amazing job that turned into, actually, a very toxic job. Definitely appreciating being out of that situation.
I branched out and began serving, not much of an accomplishment there, but I love it. I get to meet so many fantastic people, and pay my bills. We'll see how this all goes. I plan on writing way more often now that I'm not working 70 hours a week or more. So keep up with it ;)

For now,
S.